The Great Foo Bird


In ancient times there was a community known as the Goodnu.

The Goodnu lived on the bank of a mighty river, and were a thriving center for trade, transportation and sustenance. Water was almighty and worshiped as a God.

One day there was a tremendous hurricane far out in the ocean. The storm blew a large flock of Foo birds, a very ugly, evil-looking bird, way off course sending them up river and inland many hundreds of miles to the Goodnu community.

The Goodnu had never seen a Foo bird and were quite curious as to its sudden, and to some, ominous presence.

One day a “Foo” bird flew overhead and screeched: “Foo, Foo” and shit on a man’s head. The man ran screaming into the river to wash it off. As soon as the man washed the turd from his ear, he keeled over suddenly and died on the spot.

The people became uneasy. Some believed that they had done something terribly wrong to anger the River God, and that this bird should be avoided. The Goodnu were now convinced that the “Foo” bird was evil.

The next day a woman was working outside and heard: “Foo, Foo”. Not thinking twice, she looked up to see what it was and a Foo bird dropped a bomb, landing a syrupy turd across her face.

Shocked and panicked, she ran into the river furiously washing her face of this sloppy stew. The village watched in horror as this woman also died immediately once cleansed of the runny turd.

The very next day, a village elder heard the ominous call: “Foo, Foo”. He too was struck right in the forehead by the Foo bird’s turd missile.

His first reaction was confusion, and he sprinted towards the river. However, he stopped short and considered his situation. He had witnessed the terrible deaths of two of his villages’ people in the last two days. He decided not to cleanse the poo pile from his forehead, and sure enough – he lived.

So the elder called a meeting of the village folk, and proclaimed, “Goodnus! If the Foo shits, wear it!”

And they all lived happily ever after.